Getting to the root of real problems in a relationship
Breaking it down
Relationships are almost always strengthened when problems are dealt with effectively and conclusively, and that even includes agreeing to disagree. However, in most marriages the perceived problem is often not the real problem. While the parties may feel the perceived problem has been resolved, the real problem remains, often festering away ready to explode again.
Of course, there are times when the perceived problem is not resolved either and it’s not until a third party intervenes that the real problem comes to the surface. This is one of the most common areas that a couples’ therapist faces when dealing with relationship problems. While many talk about communication being the key — and it is an important one — being able to identify the real issue is far more important.
Put another way, you can have the best communication skills available, but if you’re discussing the wrong issues, those skills are wasted. One of the reasons a trained independent third party can see the real issues is because they are not part of the problem. That independence is very important as is maintaining a neutral position when dealing with problems. In fact, this is one of the most important reasons a couple whose relationship is suffering should seek out professional help.
Rather than plodding away trying to resolve the problems in a relationship on your own, consider giving us a call to see if we can help root out the real problems. Your relationship will be stronger for it and you will have a much better understanding of each other.